Monday, October 27, 2008

Five

I just read an entry from The Pioneer Woman where she asked her readers to describe themselves with five adjectives...and these were mine.

Afraid
Alone
Shaking
Depressed
But somehow still hopeful

Except I lied a little bit on the lats one because I didn't want to be a TOTAL downer. I'm sure I'll be hopeful again at some point in the future, though.
I had an appointment with the psychiatrist today, but we got the times mixed up, I guess, and so I was there what *I* thought was on time, but what I was told was 15 minutes late. I was informed that the doctor was "unable to see [me] because she needs the full hour" (or 50 minutes, really.) The receptionist said they weren't booking any appointments now, that the schedule is full until after January.
I walked out of the office, and that's when the shaking started. I got to my car, and tears started running down my face, and I started hyperventilating.
I don't really know why this upset me so much...why I let it? But I feel terrifyingly fragile.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

I wonder why alone feels so much lonelier on weekends than any other night?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

No Brilliant Ideas Here!

Well, really, I'm just posting because I can't think of anything better to do at this precise moment in time! I've already baked the cake and made the pudding for the trifle I'm taking to Young Adults tomorrow night, as well as made up the spinach dip that I'm going to put in a sourdough bread bowl. My life is nothing but excitement, I tell you!
I'm also blogging so that I don't fall asleep. You see, I have class in 53 minutes, and it would be rather uncool to pass out before that happens!
I did dishes today too, so all my cooking and baking mess isn't overtaking the kitchen. Now that I mention the kitchen, though, my tummy is telling me I had better eat something before class! It was rather loud, and vocal, actually!
I went around to three different stores today before I actually found what I wanted, which was quite irritating! Nonetheless, I found what I needed and the walking certainly didn't hurt me any. (Not that I was walking between stores, just within them.)
(I have a friend from school who has been walking everywhere for the last month and she's lost 13 pounds. She's very happy with herself. I'm rather astounded at her energy - to do the 5km down and up the hill to the University, sometimes twice a day. I could do the downhill maybe but the uphill? HA!)
I was on the radio today! Only for a silly contest, but it would be a pretty nifty contest if I were to win! The object was to a) be the first caller through (I was!) and b) to sing along to a song by The Wilkinsons - as an audition/get your name in the draw for the contest. I kept hearing the radio cutting out, and such nonsense, so missed a bit on the singing, but it was apparently not so off-key as to rule me out of the contest, and here's the cool part: apparently there are only 20 or so people in the draw bucket, and if you win, you get a chance to have Sunday brunch with the band, and perhaps even sing backup on one song for their concert. I think that would be wicked cool! So, I really hope I win :) Better odds than the lottery anyway ;)
Anyhow, 45 minutes to class time, so I'd better put something in this belly of mine. Catch ya'll later! (And Mum and Grampy, I shall see you Thursday! Yay!)

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Oooh Pink!

Well, plenty of sites do it, and I couldn't sleep anyway :P So here I am, Pink for the Cure! And you can even see my severely limited graphic design skills! Woo!
If you're Canadian, check out the link on the right for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, or if you're from those scary United States, take a gander over at the page of the Susan G. Komen foundation!
No one should have to lose a loved one to cancer. Guys, let me tell you, if you haven't been there already, even if you're not close, it just sucks.
My last memory of my Auntie Carol is her angrily slapping my hand down because I was tapping my fingers on the table in an irritating way. I would've been around 12, I think.
I wish we'd had time to make more memories - and more opportunities to make good ones.
Cancer should not be stealing away so many of our loved ones. We need to find a cure - yesterday. We need to raise awareness, and we need to raise money. Do what you can.
Peace.