Sunday, February 15, 2009

What Dreams May Come

I'm having trouble sleeping tonight. I think I'm avoiding it on some level, because I keep having the same nightmare. At least, I think it's the same one. I wake up remembering only that someone is mad at me. I know who it is; I dream that this person's mad at me all the time. I've even dreamt that they physically attacked me - and the virulent hatred expressed therein woke me up feeling stained and distressed.
I wish I knew why I keep having dreams along these lines. I hate them! It's so disturbing. This person isn't really even part of my life anymore, and the dreams don't seem to be tied to the rare occasions when I see them.
I read about all sorts of possible interpretations of dreams in my textbooks. God only knows what Freud would say. (I hate most of his theories, but maybe that's just transference, or projection, or whatever the heck it would be. I should know. It may well be on my next midterm.) I've done everything I can to resolve any conflict that might have been in that relationship. I guess I don't feel like there's any closure? But I don't know how to obtain that. I don't know what else to think, to pray. I don't know what to do that I haven't done. Maybe this bit of catharsis will help. Maybe I can get a whole four hours of sleep before it's time to get up again. Maybe I'll sleep so badly, I won't hit REM and won't have to worry about bad dreams ;-)

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