Saturday, January 12, 2008

Shadows

I hereby promise myself that next weekend I am not booking myself for anything that I "should" do and to keep an open schedule, but if not completely open, then only things I *want* to do. It is a weekend, after all! I played piano at a funeral today, which is decidedly not my favourite thing to do. Even the best ones leave me feeling a bit down, so I was glad to get a phone call from the lovely Karey when I got home.
She's housesitting right now, and asked if I wanted to go with her to walk the dog. Even though I didn't really feel like it, I sucked it up because I knew it would be good for me to get out of the house. We had a nice little walk, and she patiently waited while I continuously stopped to exclaim, "Ooh, pretty! Picture!" We took the dog down to the house-sitting house, where I also exclaimed over the stupid awesome view. We were there the other night at full dark, too, and it was quite impressive. We talked a bit about random things and nothing and how a mutual friend is still waiting on her visa for South Africa even though she leaves on Wednesday! We also talked about how much we're going to miss her, and that saying goodbye really sucks. (Karey also just put her sister back on a plane to Australia for who knows how long this time.)
I'm glad Karey's around; it seems like lately she's about the only one who bothers calling. (I know, I know, poor me.) The winter's always so rough, the physical darkness seeping into more metaphoric feelings. I'm ridiculously sensitive. Minor stressors pile up, and then something upsetting happens, like the recent death of a family friend, that sends me spinning. I just start to recover, and then driving down to buy groceries, I spot a dead cat in the middle of the road, and it gets me to crying again. And I HATE it! It's just further proof that I'm not normal. But at the same time...

There's a moment when
Faith caves in
There's a time when every soul is certain God is gone
But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You're my horizon
You're the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

- Nichole Nordeman, Sunrise

2 comments:

Mrs. Wilson said...

Sorry I didn't delurk! But you know I read anyway!!

sporkchop said...

You are normal. There are so many different kinds of normal that it'd make your head spin. It's called emotion. We all have it and us girls are a little more susceptible. I have moments when I just break down and cry for no good reason. It's nuts but it happens!