Saturday, December 02, 2006

What now?

Well, as much fun as I had with Becca the other night (we stayed up and watched MI3 and Take the Lead) I really shouldn't have done it. I'm all backwards - and my sleep "schedule" (ha!) is screwed up enough to begin with.
This morning, I don't think I'm writing because I have something invaluable to say, (like I usually do?) but because I have nothing else to do! So thrilling.
I'm in the studio again today, and that's at least part of the reason why I'm losing sleep. At $50/hr, how precisely we spend our time in the sound booth becomes a major stress point. I'm working with a wonderful group of guys, and they're doing a great job - but, much like me, they're not infallible musically. And so we screw up, and we do it again. And I have to remind myself that it's all part of the experience, and not to worry so much about what's going to happen when we inevitably run out of money.
How is it that I have so little faith? I've been provided for, amazingly, time and time again. School, conferences, a large chunk of what CD money I do have wasn't pre-ordered copies but rather a gift given in faith.
I'm terrified that I'm going to let people down. It seems that so many people believe in me, but I know it to be unfounded.
Breathe. One day at a time, right?
It's still dark outside...
I need the sun to rise.


Nanette said...

I think all people have the same fears about letting people down--try not to be too hard on yourself, easier said than done, I know :)

\m/ MadMom \m/ said...

I agree with Nanette....dont be so hard on yourself. be confident and it will come thru in your work. good luck!