No Brilliant Ideas Here!

Well, really, I'm just posting because I can't think of anything better to do at this precise moment in time! I've already baked the cake and made the pudding for the trifle I'm taking to Young Adults tomorrow night, as well as made up the spinach dip that I'm going to put in a sourdough bread bowl. My life is nothing but excitement, I tell you!
I'm also blogging so that I don't fall asleep. You see, I have class in 53 minutes, and it would be rather uncool to pass out before that happens!
I did dishes today too, so all my cooking and baking mess isn't overtaking the kitchen. Now that I mention the kitchen, though, my tummy is telling me I had better eat something before class! It was rather loud, and vocal, actually!
I went around to three different stores today before I actually found what I wanted, which was quite irritating! Nonetheless, I found what I needed and the walking certainly didn't hurt me any. (Not that I was walking between stores, just within them.)
(I have a friend from school who has been walking everywhere for the last month and she's lost 13 pounds. She's very happy with herself. I'm rather astounded at her energy - to do the 5km down and up the hill to the University, sometimes twice a day. I could do the downhill maybe but the uphill? HA!)
I was on the radio today! Only for a silly contest, but it would be a pretty nifty contest if I were to win! The object was to a) be the first caller through (I was!) and b) to sing along to a song by The Wilkinsons - as an audition/get your name in the draw for the contest. I kept hearing the radio cutting out, and such nonsense, so missed a bit on the singing, but it was apparently not so off-key as to rule me out of the contest, and here's the cool part: apparently there are only 20 or so people in the draw bucket, and if you win, you get a chance to have Sunday brunch with the band, and perhaps even sing backup on one song for their concert. I think that would be wicked cool! So, I really hope I win :) Better odds than the lottery anyway ;)
Anyhow, 45 minutes to class time, so I'd better put something in this belly of mine. Catch ya'll later! (And Mum and Grampy, I shall see you Thursday! Yay!)

Oooh Pink!

Well, plenty of sites do it, and I couldn't sleep anyway :P So here I am, Pink for the Cure! And you can even see my severely limited graphic design skills! Woo!
If you're Canadian, check out the link on the right for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation, or if you're from those scary United States, take a gander over at the page of the Susan G. Komen foundation!
No one should have to lose a loved one to cancer. Guys, let me tell you, if you haven't been there already, even if you're not close, it just sucks.
My last memory of my Auntie Carol is her angrily slapping my hand down because I was tapping my fingers on the table in an irritating way. I would've been around 12, I think.
I wish we'd had time to make more memories - and more opportunities to make good ones.
Cancer should not be stealing away so many of our loved ones. We need to find a cure - yesterday. We need to raise awareness, and we need to raise money. Do what you can.
Peace.

Happy Thoughts Never Come at 3a.m.

One week in and already I'm questioning myself about school. I have my first class (again, because I didn't finish it last year) for statistics tomorrow (since we started last week on Wednesday), and reading the textbook is only serving to remind me that stats make me want to shoot myself.
I still have two long-overdue essays from last semester. I've emailed one prof asking if he'd possibly still accept it and am waiting on a reply, and the other prof said he would, but told me the best I could possibly do in the course was a D. I should be grateful that he'll still grade it at all, and I am, but I'm feeling terribly discouraged as well.
That same prof, in the lecture for our first clinical psych class tonight (or last night, I guess...) was talking about the rigors of grad school, and the minimum 3.7GPA you need to get in, along with perfect GRE scores and research experience. Even as he talked about the work he was doing at the correctional center and the consulting and so much of what sounded fascinating and exciting to me, the hopelessness of ever getting there was reverberating in my mind.
I'm trying to remind myself that taking stats again is a blessing - an opportunity to correct the mistakes I made last time; that I'm blessed that Reid will accept the paper at all - a D is better than a Did Not Complete, which holds the same GPA value as an F.
But then I wonder if I should just scrap the whole thing - while I still can, and get (most) of the money back and give it back to the student loan bureau. Should I tackle the whole thing again in a few years as a "mature student"? Would I, could I be stronger? I wonder if I should run away to the Island and spend time with my grandparents while they're still around. Should I retreat to my mommy and let her help me get healthy - lose the weight that is more like a millstone around my neck than a number on a scale. I'm 24 years old - an adult, by any standard, and I should be able to keep my own act together. (There were many swear words omitted from that last sentence. I just wanted you to know.)
I know that a lot of this is my depression talking - and if it's not that it may just be the voice of the devil himself. ˆI'm stupid. I'll never succeed. I'm ugly inside and out. Worthless. Damn it, I know they're lies! But they're insidious ones, and the ones that roll around in my head at now 4am on a sleepless night, because rainbows and unicorns don't feature in the dark watches of the night.

Still Not Dead!

Oh, hi there, blogland. I would like to take this moment in time to assure you that I am in fact, not dead. Nor am I asleep, which is a pity.
So, let's see...life rather carries on whether you're ready for it or not. I can't believe classes start again in less than a week! Oy! I don't feel even remotely ready. A big part of me wants to run away, except I don't know where to!
Restless and weird, that's me!
I can hear my landlord getting up for work now It's a little frightening how many times I've heard him upstairs, since he gets up at 5.
I'm not really awake enough to write anything clever (as though I can when I'm awake!) but I just wanted to say hi. So, hi. Hope life's going swimmingly for any of you who are reading this. Until next time.

Nothing to say, really, but if a picture's worth a thousand words, then I'm about to blow your mind ;) Here are some of my favourite shots from the last month.

Seven Deadly Sins Meme

WRATH

1. Who did you last get angry with?
I'm taking it as a good sign that I'm having a hard time remembering...

2. What is your weapon of choice?
Broadsword

3. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
I teasingly hit guys all the time, and have been told that it hurts. Uh, I fail.

4. How about of the same sex?
I have, and wish I hadn't.

5. Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
Probably one of my sisters, though I don't know who or for what!

6. What is your pet peeve?
Idiot drivers. Not that I never am one :P

7. Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
Keep them, more than I'd like. I work at letting them go, but it's hard for me!

SLOTH

1. What is one thing you're supposed to do daily that you don't?
Clean house.

2. What is the latest you've ever woken up?
7pm, after not getting to sleep til 10am.

4. What is the last lame excuse you made?
"I'm tired."

5. Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
Magic bullet, so many times.

6. When was the last time you got in a good workout?
A month-ish ago, Karey and I went on a pretty hike-y walk heh.

7. How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock today?
Not at all - way too dangerous especially on the first day of a new job!

GLUTTONY

1. What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
Cosmo.

2. Meat eaters: white meat or dark meat??
Either, depending on my mood! I usually eat chicken but once in a while I get like, "STEAK. NOW!"

3. What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
Four drinks? Five? Something like that.

4. Have you ever used a professional diet company?
Yeah, failed miserably.

5. Do you have an issue with your weight?
Yes.

6. Do you prefer sweets, salty foods, or spicy?
All of those, and carbs, delicious carbs.

7. Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought "lunch"?
Ha! No.

LUST

1. How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies/family):
Do shameless old ladies at the Y count? :P

2. How many people have seen YOU naked (not counting physicians/family):
None. (Lucky for them :P)

3. Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a member of the opposite gender during a normal conversation?
Uh, yes. Sorry about that.

4. Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
Nope.

5. What is your favorite body part on a person of your gender of choice?
Just one? Forearms, shoulders, hips...mmm men. :P

6. Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
No.

GREED

1. How many credit cards do you own?
Two.

2. What's your guilty pleasure store?
Somewhere with ice cream (I think this fits in the gluttony category :P)

3. Would you rather be rich, or famous?
Rich...fame costs too much!

4. Would you accept a boring job if it meant you would make megabucks?
That'd probably depend how time-consuming it was and if I could have fun in the off-time!

5. Have you ever stolen anything?
Long ago...the pop machine at the fire station was on the honour system, and my 11 year old self apparently had no honour.

6. How many MP3s are on your hard drive?
3000ish...but some of them are paid for :P

PRIDE

1. What's one thing you have done that you're most proud of?
Put on a concert.

2. What one thing have you done that your parents are most proud of?
Dragging my butt slowly and tortuously through University.

3. What things would you like to accomplish in your life?
So many - but mostly to love and be loved.

4. Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
Depends for what! I know my strengths and my weaknesses, and am okay with both!

5. Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
No...no skills ;-)

6. Have you ever cheated on something to get a higher score?
Nope.

7. What did you do today that you're proud of?
Started a new job!

ENVY

1. What item (or person) of your friends would you most want to have for your own?
I'd like to own a house.

2. Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
One of my sisters, most likely!

3. If you could be anyone else in the world, who would you be?
For a day, maybe Angelina Jolie, for forever, just me!

4. Have you ever been cheated on?
No, hard when you've never been in a relationship!

5. Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
Body shape/size, yes, features, not that much!

6. What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
Drive.

I win! Updates...

• I've finished my "summer" class and ended up with an A. That ought to help boost my poor beleaguered GPA ;-)
  
• I had a job interview this morning. I think it went well? But then I'm also a pretty horrid judge of these things, so we'll see. They said they'd let me know either way by Wednesday. Fingers crossed!
• I am still not done my essays. This makes me want to punt myself in the head. What I need it to make me want to do, is DO THE ESSAYS. Argh. I have ten more days on my self-imposed deadline. Dangit, I can do this!
• Have been walking with Dear Karey a few times but we both want to go more so we feel a little less like slugs :P
  
• Had a healthy lunch today- happy with myself.
  
• Going to take a little rest before work.
  
• Looking forward to tonight but I can't tell you why just yet, just in case!
  
• More later.
• Ciao