Saturday, January 10, 2004

I'm feeling restless. I can't sleep because I have too much on my mind. At least, I think that's what the problem is. I am tired though, and I'm shaky. My friends are fighting, and it's probably just a little thing, I don't really know, but it upsets me inordinately for some reason. This conference I've been so excited about is starting to make me nervous because it's becoming more realistic and it worries me a bit that I'm going to have to share accomodations with people I don't neccesarily want to share accomodations with. I'm really private sometimes, and even as a teenager wasn't a huge fan of sleepovers. I can be, depending on the purpose, but really I'd rather just stay up late talking and then go home and go to my own comfortable queen sized bed, please and thank you. I think really I'm a bit of a snob, but I don't care. I need to stop shaking. It's possibly because I'm cold. Or tired. Both of which would be fixed if I could go to bed and fall asleep dangit. Oh well.

Monday, January 05, 2004

Hm. First day of school. How exciting. I had one class. We had a discussion. I can barely contain my excitement. It was nice though, because it was a good way to ease back into school. If only it would stay this easy.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Someone told me yesterday that even though I say I'm all depressed, which is not so much that I'm sad but that I sort of have clinical depression, he thinks that I seem happy all the time. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing. I like the idea of being a happy person, but I'm not sure if I'd like people to see me as that if it's not true. But really, all in all, I am happy. I don't have everything I want but I have everything I need, and it's likely things are going to keep heading onwards and upwards.
Band practice today was good. I think 10am on Saturday is much better than 8am like we used to do. I got another of the random solos Mike (the music pastor) is so wont to hand out. Just as we're playing along, la de da, he shouts "piano solo here!". Ack. He does this a lot. You'd think I'd get used to it, and now fall all over the notes every time. Oh well. It's just practice so I guess it's not the end of the world if I screw up :)
Today is the day of trying very hard not to sleep. I'm exhausted; I only got a little over two hours of sleep last night. But if I sleep now, I won't be able to sleep tonight, then it'll screw up tomorrow and the day after, and that's when I have to go to school so I can't well afford to sleep the day away. Vacation's been grand, but I suppose it's time to get back to the real world. But a little fantasy for me before that - I'm going to finish reading The Lord of the Rings. Again.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Well, here goes nothing. I'm writing my first blog without any intention of having anyone read it at this point. I'm going to write for a while, and if it seems remotely interesting, I may show people the link, so that's that.