P.S.

And much thanks to Chris, Vanessa, Tirzah, and the other Heather, a.k.a. "Not So French Girl" who came and commented for DeLurking day! Great to see you out! As to the other 11 of you who came by (and wow, am I popular haha) you guys suck :P (I kid...thanks for coming by, too...but you really should comment!)

Shadows

I hereby promise myself that next weekend I am not booking myself for anything that I "should" do and to keep an open schedule, but if not completely open, then only things I *want* to do. It is a weekend, after all! I played piano at a funeral today, which is decidedly not my favourite thing to do. Even the best ones leave me feeling a bit down, so I was glad to get a phone call from the lovely Karey when I got home.
She's housesitting right now, and asked if I wanted to go with her to walk the dog. Even though I didn't really feel like it, I sucked it up because I knew it would be good for me to get out of the house. We had a nice little walk, and she patiently waited while I continuously stopped to exclaim, "Ooh, pretty! Picture!" We took the dog down to the house-sitting house, where I also exclaimed over the stupid awesome view. We were there the other night at full dark, too, and it was quite impressive. We talked a bit about random things and nothing and how a mutual friend is still waiting on her visa for South Africa even though she leaves on Wednesday! We also talked about how much we're going to miss her, and that saying goodbye really sucks. (Karey also just put her sister back on a plane to Australia for who knows how long this time.)
I'm glad Karey's around; it seems like lately she's about the only one who bothers calling. (I know, I know, poor me.) The winter's always so rough, the physical darkness seeping into more metaphoric feelings. I'm ridiculously sensitive. Minor stressors pile up, and then something upsetting happens, like the recent death of a family friend, that sends me spinning. I just start to recover, and then driving down to buy groceries, I spot a dead cat in the middle of the road, and it gets me to crying again. And I HATE it! It's just further proof that I'm not normal. But at the same time...

There's a moment when
Faith caves in
There's a time when every soul is certain God is gone
But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You're my horizon
You're the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

- Nichole Nordeman, Sunrise

DeLurking

If you're hovering around here without hitting that comment button, then cut it out! At least for this one day!


Otherwise, I've not got much to say because I'm having a hard time thinking positively and don't particularly want to let that all spew out on to here right now. If you pray, pray for my friends, who've just lost their Mom to a car accident. And pray for me, and my comparatively insignificant stresses and my inability to manage them. Gonna make it. One Day at a time.

Tally

In the past few months, I have managed to break...
- one wine glass
- two water glasses
- one small vial
- two lamps
- an exercise ball (popped one of of the pieces of glass from one of the aforementioned water glasses.)
- some kind of record, I'm sure.
I'm beginning to think I deserve some sort of prize. Or maybe just that I should child-proof my house.

The Aforementioned News

Uh, so apparently when I said "later tonight" I totally meant tomorrow, which is now today! Tada!
So I try not to whine too much on here (completely unsuccessfully, really :P) but one of the things I hadn't really mentioned was that money had been getting pretty tight, because of Dad's pension, including my "child benefit", being revoked due to factors I really don't understand, and because of my general inability to stick to a budget.
I'd noticed a small grocery store in town was hiring, and since I've got more than two years of cashier experience, I decided I'd go apply, even though I didn't particularly want to.
So, I got up early, dressed in presentable clothes (even though I never wear anything but jeans in the winter!) and took a resume down. I talked with the manager, but she just didn't seem terribly enthusiastic, and I left feeling kind of discouraged.
Fast forward a few hours, and I have a voicemail from the children's director at the church, saying she has a "proposal" for me. I call back, and quite out of the blue, she offers me a part time job working in the day care at the church! With a bit of juggling, it fits perfectly with my class schedule. It pays decently, and is enough hours to keep me afloat without totally stressing me out, plus it's working with kids, which I love, and even better, it's relevant to my future career in child and youth mental health. It is truly such a Godsend, and I nearly started crying I was so happy!
So I start on Monday, and it shall all be a Grand Adventure, I'm sure :-) Wish me luck!

A Quick Warning

(Real post coming later tonight, with Exciting News!)

Oh...Right.

This is why I don't bother going to bed early - my version of early, that is. I hit the hay tonight around ten thirty and was looking forward to a great night's sleep. But now it's 2:43 and I'm wide awake. Huzzah! So, I shall tell you a story.
Today, on my way down the hill from feeding Mum's friend's cats, I saw a young man waiting at the bus stop. He'd been there on my way up, too, and he was looking at his watch and seeming a bit worried. There's no buses here on holidays, and I pulled over to tell him so. He looked so stricken, I offered to give him a ride downtown. We chatted a bit and I discovered he is here on an exchange from Germany. I told him I had a friend in Austria, and that my little sister very nearly did a Rotary exchange to Thailand. And then I felt very dull.
I've always said that I wanted to travel, but beyond a highly structured missions trip to Guatemala, I haven't. I was speaking with that friend in Austria, Lizanne, just a few minutes ago. Time differences are lovely for insomniacs. She was showing me pictures of her Christmas in Austria. The lights in Vienna were spectacular, and I very nearly cried. Why am I still here, in the town where I was born? I hate moving, yes, but that shouldn't preclude travel. This is the perfect time in my life to be doing it - nothing tying me down. Yes, I need to get my degree - but after I finish my Bachelor's, absolutely nothing says it has to be here! I've spent the last hour looking at Masters' Programs all over the world, and mostly terrifying myself. But still, it's intriguing to think of continuing my education in England, or Australia or even "just" the U.S.. I want to be a much more interesting person than I am. Even if the travel just involves a camping trip, I resolve to go somewhere this year, and to somehow look beyond my horizon.