Refined

I somehow doubt I'll ever be quite as at home playing guitar as I am on piano. The guitar is more portable, of course, and more affordable, but right now I miss my piano so much it hurts! The song inside me longs to pour out and get stuck at the end of my uncalloused fingers. It's funny though - I seem to have a go-to song on guitar. It's simple - the key of D (yay!) and just basic, simple picking. I rarely sing along, though I do have some favourite words...

My heart can't see when I only look at me
My soul can't hear when I only think of my own fears
They are gone in a moment
You're forever the same
Why did I look away from You?
How can I speak Your name?

I performed it once, about 7 years ago, I think. But something about this song, the music, the feeling, the utter simplicity of it soothes my heart in a way that's so rare for me on guitar. I only wish you could hear the instrumentation better in this clip, but oh well. Jennifer Knapp - Refine Me.

Well, I'm just a big ol' crankypants again. I'm sick - and I've only been sick one other time since September, so I shouldn't whine about it, but I was really enjoying being healthy! Now all I want to do is cuddle into my nice warm bed that still can't warm me enough, since I have chills.
I was supposed to go out earlier, and even though I really didn't feel up to it, I got up and showered and dressed and did my makeup, and was on my way out the door when I realized I couldn't find my keys. I looked every logical place I could think of, but they didn't appear.
I took it as a sign. I washed my makeup off and crawled back into bed with a book. Ugh. Did I mention that I hate being sick? (Grump :P) OJ and chicken soup and layers of blankets...I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Random Thought of the Day

Okay, so you know those auto-feed paper towel dispensers, where pulling one brings out the beginning of the next one? Am I the only one who finds it hysterical that they have an "Emergency Feed"?
What sort of emergency do you figure they had in mind? I'm picturing this drastic scenario - I need paper towel, STAT! Someone is bleeding out on the bathroom floor and I must immediately stanch the wound? The ship is sinking and you have to plug the leaks? You're in battle and must wave a white flag? Suggested by my friend Meghann: You have a hot date and need to pad your bra? (I'm fairly sure I'd never need to use this one...)

On Demand

So I've been told I'm supposed to write a new entry?! I don't suppose any of you lovely, bossy people would be inclined to give me a topic about which to write? :P
The last ten days, huh? Well, let's see. My little sister was telling me that her life consisted of "Eat, go to class, study and sleep." Well, mine is similar, but a bit more akin to "Eat, class, work, study and don't sleep." Work's going well, though, and school's trucking along. I've actually slept a little better in the last while, and I think a huge reason for that is that it's been sunny! You heard me! Sunny! Woo! It's odd how much of a difference that can make.
Of course, last night I didn't sleep worth (fill in the blank) again, so now I'm wiped. So, goodnight :P Here's your post - sorry it's boring!

Grrrump

Well, I have to say that I really, really hate that my landlord gets up at 5:15. Because even on the worst nights of insomnia, I'm usually at least getting sort of maybe a little bit close to falling asleep. And then he gets up, and it's bump and bang and this and that, and really it's not all that much noise, because when I *am* sleeping, it's not enough to wake me up. But if I'm awake? Hoo boy is it ever enough to keep me that way. And to make me dang cranky in the process. Hmph.
At least he's almost gone to work now. Time to try again. Man, I miss sleep. I have this vague memory of it being a good thing...

Kids Are Crazy...Crazy Awesome!!

I mentioned that I started a new job at a daycare, right? Well, it's after-school care, and so the kids have a set amount of homework time, and if they get their homework done, then they can play a game, but it has to be a "brain game" like Battleship or Connect 4 or anything with some minimal amount of strategy.
So, for this time, I was engaged in a Fierce Battle of chess with a seven year old (?ish?) boy. And please forgive me for this, but I was quite happy because I was actually winning. (Over the years I'd nearly entirely forgotten how to play.) But then...oh then. I think I made a stupid move, and he took out one of my queen (oy) with a pawn. And of course he's proud of himself, as well he should be, and he just looks at me and crows - "Pawned!!"
We both dissolved into giggles. It was by far the highlight of my day - and probably my week.
P.S. - Dear Grampy - In internet games and now in colloquial speech, people started saying that they'd "owned" the other player, as in totally annihilated them. Eventually, this became PWNED! which is a whole 'nother story. Trust me, though - it was really funny.

Lyrical Laziness

If you've ever talked songwriting with me, one of the artists who is most likely to come up is Nichole Nordeman. In fact, I just quoted her song, Sunrise, in my last post. People, she is fantastic. Her latest album is called Brave, and it came after a multi-year hiatus. One of the reviews I read on iTunes before I bought the album (Yay $10 albums!) said that this album has brought a greater maturity in her writing (which was already awesome), and I would have to say that I agree. I would highly recommend it!
This song is called, What If, and reflects quite well what I've said to non-Christian friends who've asked me: what if He's nobody? What if you've "given up so much" (their words) and you're wrong? But much like according to Pascal's wager, there's this: what I gain is so much more, infinitely more, than that which I've supposedly lost. I've been told I lack freedom; I have never been so free. This incredible freedom and feeling and soul-deep knowledge of truth that comes with following Christ - even on my very worst days - is more than I could have ever hoped for. What if this is all falsehood, a machination of my own imagination - and faith is nothing more than the opiate of the masses - what have I lost? But if some of those around me gamble on the other side, some of those I love - what then?

What If
(c) Nichole Nordeman

What if you're right? He was just another nice guy.
What if You're right?

What if it's true? They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
What if it's true?

What if He takes His place in history with all the prophets and the kings
who taught us love and came in peace, but then the story ends?

What then?

But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig way down deeper than your simple-minded friends?
What if you dig?

What if you find a thousand more unanswered questions down inside?

That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic and begin to poke the holes?
What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore that must be told
and re-told, and re-told?

But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

'Cuz you've been running as fast as you can.
You've been looking for a place you land for so long.

But what if you're wrong?

What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?