Bullets of Depression - As much fun as it sounds!

• When I'm feeling down, I shouldn't listen to music that makes it worse, but I do. (See, Exhibit A: Michael Bublé, Home.)
• "May be surrounded by a million people, I still feel all alone...I just want to go home."
• I'm cold, I'm tired and I'm stressed and all I want to do is sleep.
• Or eat. Preferably pasta. Are there endorphins in pasta? It seems like it :P Why can't salad be comfort food? I need to go back to my childhood and re-pair my associations.
  
• School work? What school work? I'm just trying to make it to the morning.
• A bad day/week/month can cause you to take to heart a comment you know you should ignore from someone whose opinion does not even rate.
• Friends are amazing, but they can only do so much.
• Some nights are really, really long. This is going to be one of them.
  

Something Positive! Wow!

So you're probably not supposed to have a favourite professor are you? Is that kind of like having a favourite sibling, or child? Oh well. I do! And here's why:

• he is actually practicing right now, though he doesn't have many private clients, he consults for the police and works at the jail.
• because he works at the jail he has some awesomely hilarious stories - things I've certainly never heard in my sheltered life!
  
• he has been super understanding about late papers and rewriting exams because of the way I stress out and stuff - when I hadn't slept in three days a couple weeks ago, he let me reschedule the exam.
• I got a little flustered leaving class tonight, and left my purse behind, and got the following email:

Hey Heather,

You left your purse in class tonight. I have it in my office (Room#). I won't be in on Friday but I hope somebody in the main office on the second floor might be able to help you by letting you into my office. I have cc this to (Main office person) - (Main office person) would you be able to help with this? If you have any problems call me at (Cel Number.)

----

I realized my purse was missing before I got the email - I got home and turned right around. Thankfully we had ended class early and the building was still open. I managed to snag a security guard and he let me into the classroom - and my stomach pretty much hit the floor when I saw that my purse wasn't where I had been sitting. I was so sure it had to be there; I hadn't been anywhere else and I knew I had it right before class. I thanked the guard and started to head out of the building.
Nearing the door, I saw some lights on down the hall, and I thought to myself, "Hmm, I wonder if Reid's still here." So I walked down the hall, and heard his office chair squeak when I got to his door. I had to restrain a little cheer. I knocked, he invited me in, and I looked at him, saw my purse on his desk and exclaimed, "Oh thank God!"
We chatted for a few minutes about how good it was that I'd managed to catch him, and I thanked him over and over, because I had been totally freaking out! I know I'll be better able to sleep tonight knowing that I have it safe and sound!
I don't know how many profs would go out of their way to notice the purse, whose it was, and attempt contact (he didn't have my phone number) - and then keep it safe in their own office and allow me access, and their cel number! I am very thankful it all worked out :-)
Oh, and for the record, one more reason he rules:

• musician.
• W00t
  

Fail

I came in early to school today to work on an assignment. Look at me, being all industrious!
Oh, except, I suck.
The assignment is due in a little over an hour. When I got here, I was feeling pretty good about it, if a little frantic. So I sat down at the computer and entered the data. I ran the statistical analysis, or at least I thought I did? And got results that made NO sense. So I backtracked, and did it again. Still gibberish.
It's too late to ask the prof for help now; she runs another seminar in 20 minutes. I feel about ten kinds of stupid at the moment, if not more.
I guess now I at least have time to get breakfast. That should help with the headache.
(Whine, whine, whine. Now you know why I'm not blogging much right now.)

Hi

I'm alive, mostly. Stressed, but not sick anymore. (Yay!) Behind in school, freaking about it. Need to give myself a kick in the butt, and not be so hard on myself, all at the same time. It's a little complex.
Kitten is still cute; she still makes me smile. This is a good thing.
My dishes still seem to accumulate at an unrealistic rate, and I still hate washing them.
I'm still not sleeping for any solid chunks of time at night. It really, really doesn't help.
I need a hug - but I keep isolating myself from all my friends. I'm smart like that.
Only a month left of school, which is reassuring and daunting at the same time. It's almost over - but I have so much to do before it is.
My MasterCard just bumped my limit by $5000. Why? Why do they do that? It's mean. It makes it even more tempting the just leave. Run. Far. The other night I was lying in bed, about 4am, and so tempted to just get in the car and drive - to Washington of all places. (Hi, Tirzah!)
A change is as good as a rest, or something like that? I don't know; I can't have either. Not right now.
Just hang in there, Heather. It's a mantra now. One more month, then one more year. And then maybe I'll take off to some foreign land and teach English. As long as it's somewhere pretty...and maybe warm. I could use a little more sunshine in my life right now.

Summary

loldogs are funny dog pictures!

Yeah that about covers it right now!
I'm still sick, but need to go back to school and work - especially the latter since we're closed for Spring Break and I won't be getting paid for that. *Groan.* My schedule for tomorrow looks utterly insane - bank appointment, school, appointment, work, study date.
And that is why I am going to bed. Goodnight.

Bad Day

Sick and tired today. Missed school. Mad at myself. Day saved from total suckage by a couple packages I'd been expecting in the mail. Still, blah.
Must get act together. Overdue essays, again. Assignment for stats. Work tomorrow.
Burnout.
God, I'm exhausted.

So I seem to have grown some sort of wee attachment! If you haven't already, meet Tink! She's been with me a week now, and I still think she's pretty darn adorable. Sorry I've been so rotten at posting lately. I'm pretty low energy, and what writing I do manage to do is all for silly boring things like school. (Hmph. Who wants to write on 18th century literature anyway?) The next essay due is actually on fairy tales...maybe I should write on Puss in Boots and accompany it with adorable pictures? I have an abundance of those lately ;-) Tink seems to like cuddling up really close wherever I happen to be, and then just purring her little heart out. Probably the cuteness is a defense mechanism for those times when I catch her playing with something she shouldn't - like my camera cord! So, off we go to write an essay. Hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!