Random Thought of the Day

Okay, so you know those auto-feed paper towel dispensers, where pulling one brings out the beginning of the next one? Am I the only one who finds it hysterical that they have an "Emergency Feed"?
What sort of emergency do you figure they had in mind? I'm picturing this drastic scenario - I need paper towel, STAT! Someone is bleeding out on the bathroom floor and I must immediately stanch the wound? The ship is sinking and you have to plug the leaks? You're in battle and must wave a white flag? Suggested by my friend Meghann: You have a hot date and need to pad your bra? (I'm fairly sure I'd never need to use this one...)

On Demand

So I've been told I'm supposed to write a new entry?! I don't suppose any of you lovely, bossy people would be inclined to give me a topic about which to write? :P
The last ten days, huh? Well, let's see. My little sister was telling me that her life consisted of "Eat, go to class, study and sleep." Well, mine is similar, but a bit more akin to "Eat, class, work, study and don't sleep." Work's going well, though, and school's trucking along. I've actually slept a little better in the last while, and I think a huge reason for that is that it's been sunny! You heard me! Sunny! Woo! It's odd how much of a difference that can make.
Of course, last night I didn't sleep worth (fill in the blank) again, so now I'm wiped. So, goodnight :P Here's your post - sorry it's boring!

Grrrump

Well, I have to say that I really, really hate that my landlord gets up at 5:15. Because even on the worst nights of insomnia, I'm usually at least getting sort of maybe a little bit close to falling asleep. And then he gets up, and it's bump and bang and this and that, and really it's not all that much noise, because when I *am* sleeping, it's not enough to wake me up. But if I'm awake? Hoo boy is it ever enough to keep me that way. And to make me dang cranky in the process. Hmph.
At least he's almost gone to work now. Time to try again. Man, I miss sleep. I have this vague memory of it being a good thing...

Kids Are Crazy...Crazy Awesome!!

I mentioned that I started a new job at a daycare, right? Well, it's after-school care, and so the kids have a set amount of homework time, and if they get their homework done, then they can play a game, but it has to be a "brain game" like Battleship or Connect 4 or anything with some minimal amount of strategy.
So, for this time, I was engaged in a Fierce Battle of chess with a seven year old (?ish?) boy. And please forgive me for this, but I was quite happy because I was actually winning. (Over the years I'd nearly entirely forgotten how to play.) But then...oh then. I think I made a stupid move, and he took out one of my queen (oy) with a pawn. And of course he's proud of himself, as well he should be, and he just looks at me and crows - "Pawned!!"
We both dissolved into giggles. It was by far the highlight of my day - and probably my week.
P.S. - Dear Grampy - In internet games and now in colloquial speech, people started saying that they'd "owned" the other player, as in totally annihilated them. Eventually, this became PWNED! which is a whole 'nother story. Trust me, though - it was really funny.

Lyrical Laziness

If you've ever talked songwriting with me, one of the artists who is most likely to come up is Nichole Nordeman. In fact, I just quoted her song, Sunrise, in my last post. People, she is fantastic. Her latest album is called Brave, and it came after a multi-year hiatus. One of the reviews I read on iTunes before I bought the album (Yay $10 albums!) said that this album has brought a greater maturity in her writing (which was already awesome), and I would have to say that I agree. I would highly recommend it!
This song is called, What If, and reflects quite well what I've said to non-Christian friends who've asked me: what if He's nobody? What if you've "given up so much" (their words) and you're wrong? But much like according to Pascal's wager, there's this: what I gain is so much more, infinitely more, than that which I've supposedly lost. I've been told I lack freedom; I have never been so free. This incredible freedom and feeling and soul-deep knowledge of truth that comes with following Christ - even on my very worst days - is more than I could have ever hoped for. What if this is all falsehood, a machination of my own imagination - and faith is nothing more than the opiate of the masses - what have I lost? But if some of those around me gamble on the other side, some of those I love - what then?

What If
(c) Nichole Nordeman

What if you're right? He was just another nice guy.
What if You're right?

What if it's true? They say the cross will only make a fool of you.
What if it's true?

What if He takes His place in history with all the prophets and the kings
who taught us love and came in peace, but then the story ends?

What then?

But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig way down deeper than your simple-minded friends?
What if you dig?

What if you find a thousand more unanswered questions down inside?

That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic and begin to poke the holes?
What if the crown of thorns is no more than folklore that must be told
and re-told, and re-told?

But what if you're wrong? What if there's more?
What if there's hope you've never dreamed of hoping for?
What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

'Cuz you've been running as fast as you can.
You've been looking for a place you land for so long.

But what if you're wrong?

What if You jump? Just close your eyes.
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

P.S.

And much thanks to Chris, Vanessa, Tirzah, and the other Heather, a.k.a. "Not So French Girl" who came and commented for DeLurking day! Great to see you out! As to the other 11 of you who came by (and wow, am I popular haha) you guys suck :P (I kid...thanks for coming by, too...but you really should comment!)

Shadows

I hereby promise myself that next weekend I am not booking myself for anything that I "should" do and to keep an open schedule, but if not completely open, then only things I *want* to do. It is a weekend, after all! I played piano at a funeral today, which is decidedly not my favourite thing to do. Even the best ones leave me feeling a bit down, so I was glad to get a phone call from the lovely Karey when I got home.
She's housesitting right now, and asked if I wanted to go with her to walk the dog. Even though I didn't really feel like it, I sucked it up because I knew it would be good for me to get out of the house. We had a nice little walk, and she patiently waited while I continuously stopped to exclaim, "Ooh, pretty! Picture!" We took the dog down to the house-sitting house, where I also exclaimed over the stupid awesome view. We were there the other night at full dark, too, and it was quite impressive. We talked a bit about random things and nothing and how a mutual friend is still waiting on her visa for South Africa even though she leaves on Wednesday! We also talked about how much we're going to miss her, and that saying goodbye really sucks. (Karey also just put her sister back on a plane to Australia for who knows how long this time.)
I'm glad Karey's around; it seems like lately she's about the only one who bothers calling. (I know, I know, poor me.) The winter's always so rough, the physical darkness seeping into more metaphoric feelings. I'm ridiculously sensitive. Minor stressors pile up, and then something upsetting happens, like the recent death of a family friend, that sends me spinning. I just start to recover, and then driving down to buy groceries, I spot a dead cat in the middle of the road, and it gets me to crying again. And I HATE it! It's just further proof that I'm not normal. But at the same time...

There's a moment when
Faith caves in
There's a time when every soul is certain God is gone
But every shadow is evidence of sun
And every tomorrow holds out hope for us
For every one of us
You are sunrise
You are blue skies
How would I know the morning
If I knew not midnight?
You're my horizon
You're the light of a new dawn
So thank You, thank You
That after the long night, You are sunrise

- Nichole Nordeman, Sunrise

DeLurking

If you're hovering around here without hitting that comment button, then cut it out! At least for this one day!


Otherwise, I've not got much to say because I'm having a hard time thinking positively and don't particularly want to let that all spew out on to here right now. If you pray, pray for my friends, who've just lost their Mom to a car accident. And pray for me, and my comparatively insignificant stresses and my inability to manage them. Gonna make it. One Day at a time.

Tally

In the past few months, I have managed to break...
- one wine glass
- two water glasses
- one small vial
- two lamps
- an exercise ball (popped one of of the pieces of glass from one of the aforementioned water glasses.)
- some kind of record, I'm sure.
I'm beginning to think I deserve some sort of prize. Or maybe just that I should child-proof my house.

The Aforementioned News

Uh, so apparently when I said "later tonight" I totally meant tomorrow, which is now today! Tada!
So I try not to whine too much on here (completely unsuccessfully, really :P) but one of the things I hadn't really mentioned was that money had been getting pretty tight, because of Dad's pension, including my "child benefit", being revoked due to factors I really don't understand, and because of my general inability to stick to a budget.
I'd noticed a small grocery store in town was hiring, and since I've got more than two years of cashier experience, I decided I'd go apply, even though I didn't particularly want to.
So, I got up early, dressed in presentable clothes (even though I never wear anything but jeans in the winter!) and took a resume down. I talked with the manager, but she just didn't seem terribly enthusiastic, and I left feeling kind of discouraged.
Fast forward a few hours, and I have a voicemail from the children's director at the church, saying she has a "proposal" for me. I call back, and quite out of the blue, she offers me a part time job working in the day care at the church! With a bit of juggling, it fits perfectly with my class schedule. It pays decently, and is enough hours to keep me afloat without totally stressing me out, plus it's working with kids, which I love, and even better, it's relevant to my future career in child and youth mental health. It is truly such a Godsend, and I nearly started crying I was so happy!
So I start on Monday, and it shall all be a Grand Adventure, I'm sure :-) Wish me luck!

A Quick Warning

(Real post coming later tonight, with Exciting News!)

Oh...Right.

This is why I don't bother going to bed early - my version of early, that is. I hit the hay tonight around ten thirty and was looking forward to a great night's sleep. But now it's 2:43 and I'm wide awake. Huzzah! So, I shall tell you a story.
Today, on my way down the hill from feeding Mum's friend's cats, I saw a young man waiting at the bus stop. He'd been there on my way up, too, and he was looking at his watch and seeming a bit worried. There's no buses here on holidays, and I pulled over to tell him so. He looked so stricken, I offered to give him a ride downtown. We chatted a bit and I discovered he is here on an exchange from Germany. I told him I had a friend in Austria, and that my little sister very nearly did a Rotary exchange to Thailand. And then I felt very dull.
I've always said that I wanted to travel, but beyond a highly structured missions trip to Guatemala, I haven't. I was speaking with that friend in Austria, Lizanne, just a few minutes ago. Time differences are lovely for insomniacs. She was showing me pictures of her Christmas in Austria. The lights in Vienna were spectacular, and I very nearly cried. Why am I still here, in the town where I was born? I hate moving, yes, but that shouldn't preclude travel. This is the perfect time in my life to be doing it - nothing tying me down. Yes, I need to get my degree - but after I finish my Bachelor's, absolutely nothing says it has to be here! I've spent the last hour looking at Masters' Programs all over the world, and mostly terrifying myself. But still, it's intriguing to think of continuing my education in England, or Australia or even "just" the U.S.. I want to be a much more interesting person than I am. Even if the travel just involves a camping trip, I resolve to go somewhere this year, and to somehow look beyond my horizon.